The NICU is full of ups and downs. But what happens when you have down, after down, with no ups in sight? Where is the positive when you keep getting knocked down, time and time again?

I will tell you where I found my positive in my darkest moments, in hopes that maybe you can find yours there as well:

It is the air in my babe’s lungs – whether through a ventilator, CPAP, nasal canula, or open air. It means he’s breathing. Every breath means life. A life that is fragile, sure, but still life. Through each push of air by ventilator, every drop of oxygen that bubbles through his CPAP mask, every time breath fills his little lungs, I am thankful.

It is the beat of his tiny heart – monitored by nurses and doctors. Even with a heart defect from being born too soon, each beat gives hope for another one.

It is the doctors and nurses who continue to provide care for my baby when I am unable to. They know just what to do for him. They know him well. And they know me well too. Everyday that I walk out of the NICU empty handed, I know I’m leaving my babe in the best possible care even though all I want is to bring him home.

It is the mug I brought from home to make mid day coffee in because that is my favorite way to take a break. To sit in the parent lounge, sipping my cup of warm hug in a mug.

Some days the positive is hard to find. It is in those moments, that I seek out positive in any way I can. I celebrate the small in big ways.

What is one way you can seek out and focus on the positive today? Maybe it’s connecting with a friend that brings you positivity. Maybe it’s celebrating a seemingly small win in a big way. Maybe, today, for you sweet NICU mama, it’s choosing to find the positive, whatever that looks like for you, instead of the negative – even though it is hard.

Much love,

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